A Gunning Paradise

Day 9: Sunday 20th October

Hayday: Well the day hasn’t started well as we stayed up to watch the boys get beat at the rugby despite Lanky’s pretty enthusiastic rendition of the national anthem. I did ask Lanky whether we could go and dismantle Male as a result of our loss but he said that we should save that strategy for football tournaments only – I am not sure that he really is a true British thug….maybe his hair cut was an attempt to overcompensate for something else? Both Gawp and I headed back up to our rooms at 2am distraught and exceptionally tired. Before going our separate ways, I informed Tom that bad things usually happened in trio’s and so I predicted that Lewis Hamilton would not win – nothing like Hayday positive thinking! The glass is always half empty. Fact.

Lanky: That evening we were invited to the delightful Bandos resort island to celebrate Teachers’ Day (a day of celebration for all staff but in particular the excellent teachers who worked with and for the Society). We met on Peer 8 at seven fifteen sharp. Well almost; unfortunately I was under the impression that we were to meet at Peer 13. The fact that it soon became apparent that Peer 13 didn’t exist didn’t seem to worry me unduly at the time and I was determined to find it. It was not dissimilar to the time I’d looked for two hours, aged six, for the trolls that I had been reliably informed by my parents inhabited Richmond Park. Luckily for Recharge (I’m seriously considering re-nicknaming him ‘Discharge’) one of the young ladies that works for the Society spotted my loping gait and Hayday’s considerable mane and saved he and I from us engaging in another slightly more fruitless quest by directing us to the appropriate pier and speed boat.

Speedboat! It was pretty exciting stuff brave readers, thrashing over the waves at, well, a rate of noughts. It was only made better by a rather diverting performance by Shakira. Unfortunately she, her supple belly-dancing and her ‘small and humble’s’ were not there in the flesh but via DVD. But we didn’t let that stop us enjoy a truly inspiring and (a)rousing musical performance. We also had an opportunity to talk to Afia, the CEO of Care Society, for the first time. She seemed a very friendly individual and also very switched on which was a bit worrying… This conversation was, of course, to the backdrop of Shakira’s fantastic duet with Wyclef Jean.

Speedily and presently we arrived at the resort and were welcomed onto a wooden hit that overlooked the water full of all sorts of fishy things. We then walked excitedly to a large veranda situated roughly 30 metres into the sea where there lay a delightful buffet. It was cracking stuff. Indeed such was the quality of the scram I’m sure I saw, for one moment, two smouldering dots in the dark which I can only assume were Marco Pierre-White’s red devilish eyes burning in the night.

It was a delightful affair as we both had a great chance to fraternise and socialise with the staff from Care Society in a picturesque and relaxed setting. It was really great to see how much the Society valued it’s employees and how truly it was appreciated by the employees. And us.

Day 10: Monday 21st October

Hayday: We were taken out for breakfast by Aunty, Shidhatha and Fathimath (founder of Care Society) – it cost £1 which included coffee. Not sure that either of us really felt like having a curry for breakfast but when needs must and all that. It was nice and we have made a note of where this place was – it had WIFI. Lanky informed me that this means I can use my laptop without cables.

Lanky: The old fellow does struggle with all these concepts. He kept asking how it could be there if he couldn’t see it. ‘Electricity doesn’t look like water then?’ he asked on more than one occasion. He often reminds me of Bumble...how curious.

Hayday: On our way back we tried to find the building that has information on Islands that we can book for the weekend. It started to rain and as both Lanky and I were in a ratty mood we went and got pizza from a really nice place opposite the ‘hotel’. As we sat there a storm whipped in and we could barely see 60 yards ahead. However in front of us over 50 dolphins swam and jumped past –simply breathtaking – although we did discuss who could hit one with a stone from the table…….joke eco warriors joke.

Day 11: Tuesday 23rd October

Hayday: Both Lanky and I were on top form this morning and had a good chat on the way – I have no idea what the hell it was about but if I were a gambling man I would put £10 on football. Bloody Arsenal supporter – for some strange reason all the Maldivian’s that I have met seem to support the Gooners. Lanky is in heaven and after they announce who they support it usually results in him cheering in my face – I have informed him that it is a developing nation and one would expect them to support such a mickey mouse outfit.

Lanky: That soir we marched off to another café overlooking the sea. There I ordered a Tomato and Onion salad, heavy on the tomato. However as I had taken the precaution of not only saying to the waiter in pigeon English my order but I’d also highlighted it on the menu and evoked the dish through mimicry I received a salad sparse of tomatoes and overflowing with onions. Recharge reliably informed me that the waiter had repeated my order to me to signal he understood as I was limbering up for the mime show.

Day 12: Wednesday 24th October

Hayday: Today we booked to go to Meeru Island Resort for the weekend (Friday and Saturday) – which means that we will be allowed booze. Thank god. However (Mr and Mrs Nettel) I will ensure that I water down his beer with some lemonade.

Tonight we were invited back to Care Society for a leaving do for one of the office staff. Therefore we had a free dinner and had the opportunity to get to know our hosts better.

Day 13: Thursday 25th October

Hayday: Just found out Liverpool lost last night. Shit day as this means that Lanky will be in my face. Going to be mature about it though by not speaking to him.

Lanky: Unfortunate that considering Arsenal spanked some ex-communist nobodies in the citadel of the Grove the night before. Seven what? Seven boys...